After a second time being forced by the court to attend a counselling program for domestic perpetrators, Vitalie realised that there is no place for violence in his family. And because of his stereotypical beliefs about the role of women and men in a family, he had a violent behaviour towards his wife with whom once started in love and respect. ‘I always tried to justify my violent behaviour. After a number of counselling sessions I was able to put myself in my wife's shoes and it dawned on me how much pain she had suffered. I realised that what I'm doing is wrong and that I won't go down these paths anymore. A family needs peace and communication,’ Vitalie says five years after he realised that there is no place for violence in a family. Vitalie grew up in a family where dad beating mum wasn't something unusual. He often saw emotional and physical abuse in the family. That's why when his son asked him why he was being violent with his mother, Vitalie recalled himself as a 6th grader asking his father the same question. ‘I felt that I was doing what my father did, and I realised how my children feel. I saw myself as if in a mirror and felt ashamed. I realised I wasn't doing the right thing,’ Vitalie says. The realisation that violence has no place in a family came after years of suffering. Ranging from abusive words, to punches and hair pulling – there's been everything in Vitalie's family. Until one day his wife went to the police and Vitalie was banned from going near his family. ‘We met in 1985. The night I met her, I walked her home. Never could I have imagined that in 20 years I would be restricted from going near the house. It happened after I hit her. I came home from a party with co-workers. We argued, I got angry and hit her,’ Vitalie recalls. In addition to being banned from going near his family, Vitalie was ordered by the court to attend counselling for domestic perpetrators. ‘At first I didn't want to attend. I resisted as much as I could. I imagined my acquaintances would see me and ask me what I was doing here. But the program counsellors explained to me that otherwise they wouldn't allow me to return home and I decided to come. At the first lesson I was ashamed. I thought that I’m too good to be here. But I met five other men in the group, each with his own story. We listened to each other and agreed that respect in a family should be above everything and that being a man doesn't mean you are God,’ Vitalie recalls. He says that at the end of the three-month program he realised that there is no place for violence in a family. However, he says, it wasn't enough because he failed to change his beliefs about his role in the family. As a result, a few months later he hit his wife again. The consequences were the same as when he first hit his wife – a complaint to the police, a ban from going near the family and another four months in a counselling program for domestic perpetrators. ‘The counselling for domestic perpetrators is an educational one and is based on the man becoming aware of his actions. In the first three months of the program, Vitalie managed to understand certain things, but he didn't process his stereotypical beliefs enough. He was still of the belief that the man is the one in charge in a family and if he relinquished control then he would become inferior to his wife. His second time in the program, he was still exhibiting resistance towards the teaching material. But along the way, by applying several techniques for working with domestic perpetrators such as listening, communicating with the partner, anger management, he became aware that he is responsible for the actions he takes,’ explained Andrei Odagiu, lawyer at the Assistance and Counselling Center for Domestic Perpetrators from Drochia. For 6 out of 10 women in Moldova, home is not a safe place. The number of cases of domestic violence, reported and registered by the authorities, is increasing continuously. Working with perpetrators is one of the main building blocks in the prevention of and response to domestic violence. According to the data of the Center for Domestic Perpetrators from Drochia, 8 out of 10 men who attended the counselling program for family perpetrators stopped violence in their families. ‘In the counselling program we work on the person's beliefs, the deep-rooted stereotypes that affect the relationship between man and woman in a family. We talk to men about all forms of violence, not just physical violence. And if the male perpetrator manages to become aware of the effects of his violent behaviour and takes responsibility, then the circle of violence comes to an end,’ says Andrei Odagiu, lawyer at the Assistance and Counselling Center for Domestic Perpetrators from Drochia. Once they grew up, Vitalie's children started their own families and left home. Vitalie stayed with his wife. Vitalie stayed with his wife. He confesses that every day he makes every effort to ensure that his partner is not reminded of the days when he was violent. ”‘A woman should not be afraid of a man. They must respect each other. It's important to be able to see yourself objectively. And think carefully before you do anything. Let's discuss this,’ Vitalie advises. __________________________________________ Working with perpetrators is high on UNFPA's agenda in the fight against violence. Together with the Assistance and Counselling Center for Domestic Perpetrators from Drochia, we are running a mentoring program for multidisciplinary teams from Strășeni and Fălești so that they can respond jointly to cases of domestic violence. In the program, police officers, doctors, educators and social service providers from Strășeni and Fălești work side by side with professionals from the Assistance and Counseling Center for Domestic Perpetrators from Drochia and learn how to apply the procedures for referring domestic perpetrators to specialised services. This effort is a part of the regional program ‘EU 4 Gender Equality:Together against gender stereotypes and gender-based violence’, funded by the European Union, UNFPA and UN Women to promote the fight against gender stereotypes and gender roles that persist in our society. Contact data for media: Ludmila Bogheanu, Communication Officer, ‘Together Against Gender Stereotypes and Gender-Based Violence’ Regional Program, tel. +37369403016, email: bogheanu@unfpa.org

Two years ago, he returned home after 19 years abroad, where his job was to restore old ceramic and wooden objects. In 2022 he set up his own business, specialising in the restoration and manufacturing of woodworks. Maxim makes wooden icons, miniature trophies, tables, barrels, gates, personalized trophies, pool cues, souvenirs. He learned the carpenter’s trade as a child – at first as a hobby, and later as a profession. Now Maxim is proud to be developing a business in his hometown. Thanks to “EU4Moldova: Focal Region”, funded by the European Union and implemented by UNDP and UNICEF, Maxim Rusnac received a grant of €25,000 in 2021. His workshop was equipped with lathes and wood sanding equipment. Maxim Rusnac also intends to organize interactive courses and thematic events for young people and children, to motivate them to pursue handcrafting. In the future, Maxim would like to expand his business, hire more people and optimise production. The “EU4Moldova: Focal Regions” (2019-2024) supports smart, inclusive and sustainable social and economic development in the regions of Cahul and Ungheni to ensure a better quality of life for citizens. The program, with a total budget of €23 million provided by the European Union, is implemented by the United Nations Development Programme (UNDP) and the United Nations Children’s Fund (UNICEF).

He lives in Strășeni. Together with his wife Cristina, they are raising two children - Laura (9 years old) and Aaron (3.5 years old). The Bîrsans have been together for 11 years. They have chosen to be a different family than many other couples, and are continuously learning how to be good parents. While in many families it is the mother who takes care of the children and the father who is primarily responsible for making money, the Bîrsans share all the obligations equally.  Maxim is never afraid to cook. At home he bakes pies and roasts potatoes, especially when his wife is busy with other chores. He's also the one who makes canned food for the winter, vacuums the house and goes to the market.  ‘There is no such thing as men's work and women's work. There are no professions exclusively for men or professions exclusively for women. In our house everyone is committed to doing what they can and as much as they can. We also talk a lot.  This way we avoid any misunderstandings,’ he says.  Cristina fully shares these views. She believes that there is no room for violence or arguments in a family that fosters communication and cooperation.  ‘We grew up in a violence-free environment, we were allowed to choose our professions freely. We educate our children together. We are not perfect, we have bad days, days when we don't feel well, but always the other parent steps in and takes control’, she says. The way Maxim and Cristina share roles at home and the way they educate their son and daughter are admired by all their acquaintances and family friends, the couple admits. ‘Don't cry, you're a man’, ‘Behave yourself, you're a girl’ - these are phrases you never hear in the Bîrsan family.   ‘We're not raising Laura as a princess, we don't want her to imagine the world is perfect. When Aaron cries because he hits himself, I don't try to inhibit his crying, so we don't raise an adult who doesn't know how to express his emotions,’ says Cristina. Since 2020, Maxim has been an active member of the Fathers' Club - an initiative developed by UNFPA and UN Women, with the support of the European Union. Every month, together with other men from Straseni, they get together to talk about what kind of fathers they are. They talk about how they are involved in raising and educating their children, what works for them and what they still need to practice.  The Fathers' Club has helped Maxim become an even more engaged parent, and has also helped him resolve most of the parenting dilemmas he's had lately.  ‘When Laura was born, my husband was at the beginning of his career. In addition, he also worked as a dancer at weddings. He was often away from home and regretted it enormously. I understood that he was working for our well-being, and I couldn't blame him for having me change more diapers. Since he attends these clubs, he always wants to try something in practice. He talks to Laura a lot more often, on various topics’, Cristina says smiling.  "The Fathers' Club is extremely helpful to me as a parent. There are several other men who have children the same age as Laura and Aaron. We exchange experiences.  What I like most about these meetings is the freedom to communicate. We talk about gender equality, the feeling of love in pre-adolescence, children's needs and rights’, says Maxim.  Maxim and Cristina Bîrsan believe that children grow up harmoniously in a family in which the tasks are shared equally between the man and woman. They say that training initiatives for fathers should exist in as many regions of the country as possible, so that more men will overcome the stereotypes and become fully involved in family life.  ******************************************************** The Fathers' Clubs were opened by UNFPA Moldova in partnership with the Child Rights Information and Documentation Centre as part of ‘Together Against Gender Stereotypes and Gender-Based Violence’ regional programme, funded by European Union, implemented by UNFPA Moldova and UN Women Moldova in 2020-2023. This Program supports gender equality, addresses perceptions about the roles of men and women in the family and in the society, and is meant to contribute to eliminating gender-based violence. Fălești, Drochia, Dondușeni, Glodeni and Chișinău also have clubs similar to the one in Strășeni. Their aim is to teach men how to be good fathers.  Contact data for media:  Ludmila Bogheanu, Communication Officer, ‘Together Against Gender Stereotypes and Gender-Based Violence’ regional programme, tel. +37369403016, email: bogheanu@unfpa.org  Foto: @UNFPA Moldova/ Eduard Bîzgu/ 2022 

This is a family business managed by Lazăr family. Located in the Lower Prut Meadow, the guesthouse offers 11 accommodation places. The visitors can enjoy traditional food and local wines in the restaurant or the gazebos of the guesthouse. The restaurant can accommodate up to 60 people and the gazebos – up to 30 people. Due to the high tourism potential of the guesthouse, the Lazăr family decided to expand their services and to continue the tradition of producing the Rară Neagră local wine, using the recipe of their grandfather, Gheorghe Lazăr. In 2021, the Lazăr family received a €4,500 grant as part of the “EU4Moldova: Focal Regions” Programme, financed by the European Union and implemented by UNDP and UNICEF. The funds were used to build a rustic cellar and a wine tasting area for the Rară Neagră wine and the purchase of outdoor furniture (benches, lanterns). Five other local wine producers were invited to showcase their products. This contributes to making the guesthouse more attractive and to harnessing authentic local traditions.   The “EU4Moldova: Focal regions” Programme (2019-2024) supports intelligent, inclusive, and sustainable social-economic development in the regions of Cahul and Ungheni to ensure better standards of living to the citizens. The programme has a total budget of €23 million, is funded by the European Union and implemented by the United Nations Development Programme (UNDP) and United Nations Children’s Fund (UNICEF).