On International Men’s Day, we break stereotypes: Adrian Ungureanu, a two-time father on childcare leave

I want my sons to grow up in such a harmonious environment and to carry this family example forward," says Adrian Ungureanu, manager of the Nisporeni Youth Center.

Three weeks ago, Adrian became twice as happy and fulfilled, as his second child, Sorin, was born.

"We always wanted to have more children. To plan our first pregnancy, we turned to the Reproductive Health and Medical Genetics Center at the Mother and Child Institute. The whole process was special for both of us. Together, we attended every ultrasound exam, and together we shopped for our little one, Octavian. These feelings are beyond words, something unique and beautiful," share Adrian and Corina Ungureanu.

From the beginning, the couple agreed that Adrian would take child care leave for three years. Since there was no one to fill in for him at the Nisporeni Center, Adrian decided to combine his work with family life, especially since, from 2019, parents who work during their childcare leave receive both a salary and a monthly allowance.

"It was our first child, and neither of us had any experience, so I wanted to be there. Octavian is probably the youngest 'beneficiary' of the Center. From just two weeks old, he and my wife were present at activities. Corina even taught a few fashion design classes to young people. We managed everything because we were together. We split household tasks and responsibilities related to the child. And at night, when Octavian had colic, we took turns so we could both rest. The first three months were tough, but we got through it," adds the father.

Three weeks ago, Adrian and Corina became parents again. With doubled responsibilities and new challenges, Adrian decided to temporarily leave his work at the Center and apply for childcare leave for the second time. Currently, the couple is considering the three leave options: three years, 24 months, or 12 months.

"We share duties right from the morning, preparing the kids, meals, and the car. Together, we dress Octavian, and then I take him to kindergarten. In the evening, I pick him up. For me, that’s the sweetest moment of the day. When I open the classroom door and he sees me, he drops everything and runs to me with so much joy, always giving me a big hug."

Attending parent meetings as well, Adrian wishes more fathers would be present and involved in their children's lives.

The "Generations and Gender" Study also confirms the reduced involvement of men in family life. The data shows that in the Republic of Moldova, childcare and household responsibilities are mainly assigned to women. Over 60% of women with children under six years old say they always or usually handle child care duties.

"There are just two men at the meetings. The director and the teacher always encourage more fathers to come. Last time, we participated in an educational activity about how to communicate with young children in a way they understand. I can’t wait for Sorin to grow up so I can involve both of them in activities, take them to work with me, explore the forest, and discover new places together," says Adrian.

In the Republic of Moldova, more than half of the population believes that the ideal number of children in a family is at least three. However, in reality, families have fewer than two children, often due to financial constraints or a lack of alternative childcare services that would enable parents to balance career and family life. Moreover, due to gender stereotypes, fathers are less involved in raising and educating their children, leaving women feeling pressured to choose between motherhood and a career. This makes decisions about family planning more challenging.

"We still want another child — a girl to complete our family. I have to admit that legislation has become more family-friendly. The increase in the single allowance, the possibility of sharing childcare leave, the extended period for paternity leave, and calculating the allowance based on the higher salary of one spouse will greatly support families with young children. We already feel the positive effects of these legislative changes," Adrian adds.

Every year, on November 19, we celebrate International Men’s Day. In recent years, UNFPA, in partnership with the Austrian Development Agency, has been supporting the Government of the Republic of Moldova in aligning national legislation to make it more family-friendly and to enhance men’s involvement in family life.

As part of a regional program supported by the European Union, UNFPA, in partnership with UN Women, works to challenge gender stereotypes and promote positive social norms focused on gender equality and equal opportunities for both women and men.