In pursuit of balance: A Moldovan family’s story of parenthood and life choices

In a world where life seems to move faster every day and family decisions are increasingly shaped by uncertainty; there are couples who no longer focus on “how many children do we have?” but rather on “how do we raise them?” The story of Ecaterina and Nicolae Jigău is one of them — a story about conscious choices, balance, and a genuine partnership built over time.

The two have known each other, quite literally, their whole lives. They have been together since middle school, went through important stages of life side by side, including a period spent abroad, and after returning home, decided to officially start their family journey together.

Ecaterina and Nicolae are both professionally active, so they share household responsibilities and childcare equally. Photo: @UNFPA Moldova/Eugeniu Grăjdianu
 

Ecaterina is also known for launching a parenting blog in 2013 — a space where she documented family memories and shared their experiences. Today, she works as a communications and public relations manager. Her husband works for a company specializing in the production and export of dried fruits, nuts, and organic products.

Their family includes two children — Bogdan (11) and Nicoleta (7) and a life that, while not free of challenges, is built on a carefully negotiated balance, day by day.

The Jigău couple believe that what truly matters is not the number of children, but the quality of time spent with them. Photo:@UNFPA Moldova/Eugeniu Grăjdianu
 

Deciding to have children: Between desire and reality

Ecaterina says they both come from families with three children, but that did not determine their own choice or create pressure to follow the same model.

“My husband has two brothers, and I have two sisters. From the beginning, we wanted one or two children; two felt perfect. After having our first child, we realized that financially and emotionally, raising more children would be very difficult.”

Their perspective is not unique. Although many people in Moldova still believe that the ideal family has two or three children, demographic reality tells a different story. According to the Generations and Gender Survey (Wave II), Moldova’s total fertility rate in 2024 was 1.66 children per woman — below the level needed to maintain a stable population.

Although many people in Moldova consider the ideal family to be one with two or three children, an increasing number of couples are choosing to have one or two children. @Photo: UNFPA Moldova/Eugeniu Grăjdianu
For the Jigău family, the decision was mainly guided by the wish to offer their children a stable and thoughtfully built environment.

“For us, two children means the golden middle. We can provide everything they need. Children require a lot of emotional involvement, and for that reason, two is perfect for us.”

Family Planning: A shared decision, tot an individual responsibility

Behind this decision was another important choice — conscious family planning.

“Both pregnancies were planned. Before our first child, we did all the necessary tests and prepared in advance before trying to conceive. We did the same before our second child — medical tests, vitamins, everything needed. My husband also did tests so we could both be prepared.”

For them, family planning changes the traditional perspective: responsibility does not belong only to the woman, but equally to both partners.

At the same time, Ecaterina admits they did not use specialized family planning services at the time.

“We didn’t go to free family planning centers. Honestly, we didn’t even know they existed.”

Today, couples in Moldova can access family planning services free of charge through primary healthcare centers and reproductive health offices.

These services are available thanks to support from international partners, including United Nations Population Fund, which has helped improve access to reproductive health services. Reproductive health centers have been modernized, and family doctors have been trained to provide counselling on contraception and family planning.

A father who does not “Help” — He participates

If there is one pillar of their family, Ecaterina says, it is the father’s involvement.

“My husband is an example. He attended every ultrasound appointment. He always made time for it — there was never a discussion about whether he should go or not. Even more importantly, the very first moments of our children’s lives were spent in his arms. I had C-sections, and he stayed with me in the hospital the whole time. The children’s first physical contact was with their father.”

Nicolae was actively involved throughout both pregnancies, attending all ultrasound appointments. Photo: @UNFPA Moldova/Eugeniu Grăjdianu

That involvement did not stop after birth — it became part of everyday family life.

“He makes breakfast, takes them to activities, attends Bogdan’s basketball games, reads to them before bedtime, and they love playing chess together. He is very present in their lives. Since we are both working, we share everything equally. When one of us can’t do something, the other steps in. We do it together.”

Their personal experience reflects a wider social change. According to the same survey, the share of families where household responsibilities are equally shared has doubled — from 12.7% in 2020 to 25.8% in 2024.

In 2024, the share of families where household responsibilities are shared equally has doubled. Photo: @UNFPA Moldova/Eugeniu Grăjdianu

Nicolae also benefited from paternity leave, introduced in Moldova in 2016. Since 2024, it has been extended to 15 fully paid calendar days, which fathers can use during the child’s first year of life.

This is part of a broader package of family-friendly measures implemented by the Government, with support from international partners including UNFPA and civil society organizations. These include keeping both salary and maternity allowance during leave, more flexible childcare leave options that can be shared between parents, flexible work arrangements, and expanded childcare services for children under three.

Real Life: Costs, compromises and choices

Beyond emotional balance, family life also comes with financial challenges.

“Life in Moldova, especially in Chișinău, is very expensive. Everything moves at an alarming pace. Extra-curricular activities are costly. Bogdan studies English and plays basketball, while Nicoleta studies music. These are choices that require effort and money. Both parents need to work to afford raising two children and giving them opportunities after school.”

Both Ecaterina and Nicolae work to provide their two children with good living conditions and educational activities. Photo: @UNFPA Moldova/Eugeniu Grăjdianu
This financial pressure directly affects decisions about family size.

“Income was one of the reasons — though not the only one — why we decided to stop at two children. My health also mattered, since both births were by C-section. Honestly, we feel comfortable as a family of four.”

Ecaterina says progress has been made in supporting families with children, but some gaps remain.

“It’s good that there are now more public daycare options, especially for young families. We didn’t have access to free daycare back then. Financial allowances have also increased. But there are still areas that need investment — healthcare, for example, where waiting times can be long, and many people choose private services instead. It would also help if there were more affordable extracurricular activities in kindergartens and schools — dance, volleyball, basketball — even for a symbolic fee. That would especially help mothers, who are often still the main caregivers, to work full-time without needing to leave work early. Youth centers start at age 14, so there are not enough options for younger children.”

Raising children: Respect, not control

The way they raise their children says perhaps the most about the family’s values.

“A child is not an object that you create and then shape however you want. We treat our children like individuals. There is no violence in our home — only clear boundaries and dialogue. If they face a problem, we tell them to come to us. Everyone makes mistakes; what matters is learning from them. At the same time, we encourage independence and responsibility.”

The Jigău family reflects a growing trend: the two-child family remains the most common model, but increasingly it is the result of conscious decisions adapted to everyday realities.

It becomes less about how many children you can have and more about how much you can offer; less about how much you want and more about how much time and support you have.

Their own example says it best:

“We do everything together. The way we live is the example we give our children. They see what happens in the family and naturally learn from it.”

Their story shows clearly that balance does not happen by accident. It is built — through informed choices, mutual involvement, and support both within the family and from the state.

For more families to be able to make conscious and confident decisions, public policies, family planning services, and social support need to go hand in hand — offering not only options, but also the confidence people need to stay, to have children when they feel ready, to make informed choices, and to truly feel supported.